Today

I feel so dumb today. I know I'm coming down with something, but still.....dumb.

I had to go out to do a few things. I needed to pick up a registered letter from the nearby Foodworks which is apparently a post office. I needed to mail my mum's birthday present and my father's Father's Day gift. I needed cat food, conditioner for Sim and some flu fighting vitamins for me.

So, it took me ages to get ready, but I finally got out the door.

I was not 100m away from said door when I realised I had forgotten the slip that allowed me to pick up the letter. Mind you, in that 100m I had also realised that the flu I was fighting did mot want to to walk today. I had no energy at all. So, I called a taxi.

The taxi came....and drove straight past me. So I followed it up the street and he finally saw me. It was ok, he's a really nice guy - I've been in his cab before. I was still doing ok and I was on my way to pick up what I thought was our marriage certificate. It wasn't. It was a lovely card from family, with a couple of Coles Myers gift cards in it, hence the registered post. But still, not what I expected. Also, the 'post office' really wasn't...they had no post packs at all. And so, to post what I needed, I really needed to go to the shopping centre.

So, I called another taxi. I noticed as I did this that my phone charge was low. But that's ok, cos I only needed to make one call later to Mary to get a lift home as she came home from work. I sent a qucik text to Sim to say it wasn't the marriage certificate, but a card instead. Taxi arrives, and Sim calls me. I told him about the card, my phone bips and I tell him it's going flat. We decide to talk later.

I get to KinKora, and post the goddamn gifts. Including a Father's Day card, the box and the express post cos I am running late for her b'day, it comes to $30. I hate money.

I am hungry now, so I check my purse - $5 cash. That's ok, cos I don't need anymore cash for anything else. So I get a bottle of water and a garlic chicken ball. I figured I need the garlic to help get over this cold. Comes to $4.60. Have I said how much I hate money?

Then I go and buy the other things I need. Another $40 for the cat food etc. Eek! I HATE money.

Ok. Now all I need is to call Mary to get a lift home. I look at the time and promptly read it wrong. Yep, Mary will be finsihed now and picking up Bridget. So I figure I'll call Bridget and find out where she's waiting. I'll wait with her I think to myself. I call her phone - turned off...which is pretty normal. Then I call Mary. Phone rings for ages. I picture her finding a place to pull off the road so she can answer. I feel guilty cos I am troubling her cos she's already on the way home. She answers finally. I get to say, 'Hello' before my phone dies.

I try to turn it back on, and it gets to the start screen. Then I see the time. It's an hour before I thought it was. Mary was still at work. Bridget is still at school. Mary probably thinks it was an emergency. So, I try to text her - maybe it will stay on long enough. Nope. It turns off again.

I'll call her on the public phone perhaps. So I walk to the phone....and then remember I don't have much cash. 40c. That's it. I know, I'll call Sim, he can call her and say everything's ok. I can't remember his number. But that's ok, it's in my phone. It turns on, just long enough for me to almost get to his number in the phone book. Then it turns off.

40c isn't even enough for the call I realise. Ah ha!! It is enough for a text from the public phone though! That's only 20c!! So, I stand there and type a text to Mary apoligising. Then I try my phone again to find her number. Nope. It turns off again.

I stand there ready to cry. I was trying to save money by getting a lift home. I had been bad with money today cos of the two taxis I had already taken. I see no way out for about 2mins. I just stand there, trying not to cry.

Then I snap out of it. I force myself to take an Executive Stress vitamin tablet. I drink a whole bunch of water.

I concede to myself that I just needed to take another taxi home. Stuff the money. I will text Mary after my phone is on charge. I will east a proper meal and relax for a while. After all, I have forced myself out of the house when I should be resting. I got the package mailed, got everything I needed to buy.

So, now, I am home, feeling a bit better, pumped full of vitamins with some noodles for lunch. I am a bit better now, and strangely, typing this entry has helped immensely.

Sorry if it was boring - Sometimes a Means to and End is.