My counselling appointment is today. I have been feeling better overall since being open about my depression, however, I still have bad days.
I have been trying to do many of the things that BeyondBlue sketch out in their fact sheets. I am hoping that the counsellor will have a good outside view of things that are happening in my life - give me a different perspective.
One of the hardest things is living with my husband's parents. I feel that I don't have much of a say in the way things are handled, even though that's not very true. They do try to do things to make me more comfortable, but I just don't live well with people. Especially when I really don't have much control over the general household. I don't try to control, but I feel useless trying to fit in with their routines and procedures sometimes.
I don't even really feel married to Sim yet....mainly cos we don't have 'our own house' and I have little hope that we will be moving into our own home anytime soon.
Anyway, I admit that I was using this post to get my mind in order. Thanks for your support guys - I will keep you up to date.
Our Day
One of our favourite shots, taken by a very good friend
About Me
- Jirya
- Gladstone, Queensland, Australia
- I am a new wife who actually enjoys most wifely duties, especially cooking. A newbie to scrapbooking also, I am a creative soul and plan to scrap many of my recipes to give as gifts to fmaily members who love them. Eventually I will get to scrapping my wedding too.
2 comments:
By now, you have had your counselling appointment, I hope it all went okay ... its quite intimidating talking to a stranger about such intimate issues ...
I was thinking this morning, that I have a degree in psychology and I have never shared any real concrete strategies with you about coping and such ... I guess subconsciously I am reluctant to make you feel like you are re-living old friendships where the other person is the expert and you have no rights, because lets face it that kind of relationship is more damaging than helpful ... at the same time, I am probably not being as supportive as I could be, some of the ideas I have (and use) might help ...
I guess that the number one thing I think is important is that you know you are not alone ... to be alone can be absolutely devastating ... I will always listen and be here for you ...
the second thing is to know that these emotions and these intense feelings are normal and justified ... you have so much going on, you are living in a high stress environment daily, massive change in family dynamics and living status, trying to fit in (when all you need/want is your own space), big changes in your personal relationship (everything changes constantly in relationships, but more noticeable especially now that the in-laws are so close and there is so much external stress), financial concerns (that seem to be crashing down one after another), trying to define yourself while the people around you arent able to understand/accept difference ... i think you are justified in your emotions, you have a lot of ongoing stress, with no out in the near future - you deserve to take some 'me' time and to work on making 'you' healthy and safe ...
(check out this website to judge your stress levels http://www.teachhealth.com/ ... I hit 400 when they say overstressed is 250)
Here are four techniques I am trying to use on myself:
1. Challenge negative thoughts
2. Tell yourself the truth (the good, the bad, and the ugly) then work from there.
3. Give yourself some positive feedback (write yourself a list of praise and read it every day)- damn this one is hard!
4. Plan pleasant activities; daily! Plan something good each day, something as big as a trip to rocky and as small as ten extra minutes in bed ... (everyone deserves to have some goodness in life, when we are down it is hard to recognise the goodness, planning helps out in this case)
I hope I dont sound preachy, or like the horrid expert ... I wish I could help more, I will always be there for you, no matter what ...
Take care and see you soon!
Heather
Darling, you are there for me in ways that sometimes, I don't think you even realise. Just knowing that you are in existence cheers me up much of the time :)
I love you dearly, and thanks so much for all you typed here, it's very helpful.
You could never be like that person we shall not name - You are kind, loving, caring ...and so many things she could never reach or be.
I think I may plan a pleasant trip to Rocky, maybe with some friends or something....Yes, that sounds like a great plan :D
Talk to you soon darl.
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